English is ir-r-r-regular

In a London lecture Srila Prabhupada said that the letter `u’ is pronounced differently in beauty, but and put. He made it a point to say that such irregularities in pronunciation do not exist in Sanskrit. (lecture on Bhagavad-gita 1. 2-3, London, 9July 1973). It’s tempting to point out, as one of my grammar school teachers once did, that “ghoti” can be pronounced “fish.” The “gh” is taken from “laugh,” the “o” from “women,” and the “ti” from “nation.” An even more tongue in cheek critique of English pronunciation appeared on an internet site. Apparently written by an English journalist who by-lined the essay as “a licensed translator,” the article went like this: … EURO ENGLISH The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”: In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the language is disgracful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!